Disconnect (Letting Go is Flying)

Disconnect (Letting Go is Flying)
©07/2011
12"x18"
mixed media on paper
This piece is available for purchase.

There is such a thing as too much self-awareness.

This piece came from a repetitive theme in some of my journal entries: a feeling of disconnect between my physical body and my emotions or between myself and other people. It wasn't even something I recognized as such until I heard the song Private Party by India.Arie.

"I'm gonna take off all my clothes
Look at myself in the mirror
We're gonna have a conversation
We're gonna heal the disconnection
I don't remember when it started
But this is where it's gonna end
My body is beautiful and sacred
And I'm gonna celebrate it"

In dreams, a very clear picture of myself emerged. I was light and airy, floating like a balloon, my disconnection from my physical self never more obvious. It was my way of separating the parts of myself that I believed were valuable and worthy from those parts that made me frustrated, angry, that I hurt and that hurt other people.

"All my life (all my life)
I've been looking for (I've been looking for)
Somebody else
To make me whole
But I had to learn the hard way
True love begins with me
This is not ego or vanity
I'm just celebrating me"

No matter where and how far I run, I will still be there...and that's okay.

"Flee", but from what? Where?

Flee
9"x12"
acrylic on canvas

I am a restless person at times, often easily frustrated, and this painting is a product of that. I've long felt as if there were external forces holding me in place and I was powerless to change them; I am moving forward, but not nearly fast enough for me.

I can't flee from myself. In the end, I know I will be right where I'd expect, with all the faults and flaws I've always had.

Offering

Offering

10"x15"

digital

Adventures in Printmaking

I love linocuts. It is, above all else, a physically challenging medium, requiring patience, endurance, and attention to detail.

Over the years, I have had mixed successes with it, as I don't have access to a press and have instead had to rely on hand-pulling prints, a process that (to me, at least) is more physically arduous than cutting the linoleum. A baren (and/or a wooden or metal spoon) is used to apply pressure to the paper and force the transfer of ink from the linoleum to the paper. Sometimes I get good quality prints, with rich color and crisp whites, but not always.

Not often enough.

As you can see, this is a work still very much in progress. I plan on adding watercolor and/or collage elements to it...as soon as I can get a small edition of good quality prints.

I look at Linocult daily, and I keep trying.

Purify (Darkness to Light)

My fascination with the human figure also extends to its underlying components--the skeleton, organs, organ systems, and musculature. I really like looking through anatomy textbooks; it is easy to see the beauty of all that lies under our skin. I then combine that with surrealistic elements--like changing the size of organs in relation to other organs or adding elements that would never exist inside one's body, such as flowers--to tell a story: in this case, of things that are wild, with a certain roughness to them, seeking light where there is none.

Purify (Darkness to Light)
9"x12"
acrylic on canvas panel

On Self-Portraits and "I Am"

A lot of what I create are self-portraits. I often use images of my face and body as metaphor, to tell a story of which I am only a small part. In the past, I've referred to myself simply as a vessel; I am to gather Story and bring it into the world.

Despite this, I have a hard time with the idea of my self-portrait. It feels a bit vain, a little self-indulgent to sit in front of a mirror (or looking at a photograph of myself) for the time it takes to draw or paint my own image, so that it is not just a reflection of what I see but an image that others would want to look at, not because it is me but because there is something there that makes them want to take a look at themselves.

A friend once told me that she sees a vulnerability to my work that mirrors that of my personality; maybe shying away from calling a work a self-portrait is another part of that?

"I Am"

11"x14"

acrylic on canvas

To the left of my face in "I Am" is an open, empty bird cage. Falling from it are rainbow colored feathers. I am what I am.

"Leaving A Mark" on Threadless?

A long-standing creative goal of mine is to become a t-shirt designer for Threadless. Those amazing tees are all from user-submitted and -scored designs, and as an artist and a fan, I want in.

Maybe this is my chance?

The theme for this contest? "Acts of Green".

Over a billion people celebrate Earth Day every April 22nd, making it the largest civic holiday in the world. It's the one day when the environment gets the international attention it deserves. This year, Earth Day's mission is to convert heightened awareness into action through the world's largest environmental service and advocacy campaign. We call it A Billion Acts of Green™

Billion Acts of Green™ isn't about changing your entire life around. It's about inspiring every individual to make smart changes that, together, make an enormous difference. You can help us build the movement by sharing an awesome design based on this campaign.

My design, "Leaving A Mark", is up for voting now. For those who aren't familiar with Threadless, each submitted design is given a seven day period where users vote for designs they like best. The ones with the most votes get printed.

Go vote on my design! Share the link with your friends!

Trial and error can lead to something special

I've read somewhere that creativity is about making mistakes, while art is about knowing which ones to keep...or something like that. I'm paraphrasing a quote someone tweeted. I think I got it right...it seems right, based on my experiences.

Back to the point of this post: trial and error.

I've wanted to experiment with using acrylic transfers for a while now. There are all sorts of ways to transfer a photocopy of an image to an acrylic painting using gel mediums, but the steps are basically the same: apply medium to photocopy and let dry, soak the copy in water, rub until paper begins to fall away, image should be embedded in acrylic and can be added to the painting using more of the medium.

Or something like that.

In my case, though, the gloss gel medium I have isn't quite as transparent as I'd like, so my results were...less than desirable. In the spirit of the ART FIX In-House Residency Challenge, I want to use what I have.

I'm sure I'll try again later.

I originally began this painting months ago. It was to be a companion piece to "I Fly (Return to A Dream)" but quickly went its own way...and then stopped. I'd work on it a bit here and there, never quite feeling that it was at a place where it could be considered 'complete'.

Now, it is.

I think I'll call it "Climb".

Climb
12" round
acrylic on canvas

In progress

A sampling of what I'm working on now. As you can see, there are some mixed media, watercolor, and acrylic works in various stages of completion. Some are quite awkward and some I haven't even begun, as you can see...

The Art of 2010 and 2011's Goals

I hope everyone has had the happiest of holidays. Let's look at the art I've done in 2010, shall we?

The Secrets of Growing Things
Release (Freedom Belongs to Those Who Know the Beauty and Power of Their Voice)
One Thousand Swirling Wishes
I Fly (Return to a Dream)
Protect

I do wish I'd done more, but these seem to be the layered, multi-storied paintings I most want to create.

Still, there needs to be more.

What are my goals for 2011?

• Complete one sketch a day for a calendar month
• Finish and share at least one piece a month
• Continue working on art goals: practice drawing facial expressions, clothing, feet, human figures, perspective, and incorporate found objects into artworks
• Write a proposal for an art and social change project
• Investigate Kickstarter as a funding source for an art project
• Work with a friend to create a website for my art
• Experiment at networking with other professionals who have talents I don't
• Figure out how to track time spent on art and money (if any) made from it

I feel this is plenty ambitious, and I look forward to the challenge.